Lost and found.. or still lost?

Please note that my blogs do not follow any format.. I write as it comes my head..

I was reading Ashwin's post just now and that got me thinking.. Usually, my thought process is fast enough to make me forget the start point (or am horribly forgetful and my thought process erratic).. :p Any way, I remembered this conversation that I had with this person- about how Indians had already discovered that earth revolves around the Sun long before the heliocentric views surfaced in the modern world. He took out a fat book which had translations along with shlokas. He asked me to read this particular one, which in his view proved the point. I read it and I did not know what to say really.. My linguistic skills are terrible enough that I can not comprehend the original shloka written in Sanskit (I really feel ashamed). Thus, I read the translation. It was two pages long and vaguely conveyed his point. I did not know if the one who translated, superimposed his/ her views on the actual matter..

As I see it, the problem is at two levels- 1. hardly anyone today has a good hold on Sanskrit (am talking about mass. Adwait's Sanskrit is fantastic compared to mine). 2. As most of the literature available is not easily read in the original language, one tends to read the views of the person who translates it. For anyone who thinks logically, 2nd point strikes while reading translations. At least as far as I am concerned, I have to read the actual text it to believe that that is the matter author is trying to put forth. I can not believe just because someone told me that 'they' have found ancient Hindu texts sighting the inventions of the olden times and how they were advanced. Prove it.. show the original texts.. carry out carbon dating.. Many tend to receive my stance as 'she does not believe in our culture or something like that..' Now why will I do that? It is a simple thing that scientific proof is required. It does not take an Einstein to consider that one who knows Sanskrit can easily write what he/ she wishes. It is like, how do you know that it is not a fake Picasso?

All our texts are with Germans (how shameful is that!!) and on top of that, most of the people are educated in English who can poorly read their mother tongue.. leave apart Sanskrit. As most of the mass is of that kind (including me, though medium of my education was Marathi and I can read Marathi very well, I can't understand Sanskrit much) we are so ignorant about what was already known to ancestors.. I was reading this book on Greece and I was stunned to know that majority of the mass knows about how Greeks lived in the past, what they knew etc. It was so well preserved through the time. Now, Greece compared to India is a very small country with almost a single language of communication. I know that. We have too many languages and slowly we are losing on the knowledge of those as well..

We need to collaborate.. the people who know current science and people who have good hold on languages in which olden text was written. Western people are coming here to excavate and find how Aryan towns were planned.. why can't we do that? Rather, why don't we already know it? I really am thinking of learning Sanskrit all over again and keep it alive in my head. I don't want to read translations. Think about it. It is in our hand to preserve what's already known so that learn from our past and take it along.

:)

Action please..

After retirement, Adwait's father (my father-in-law) started to work in small factory in Aurangabad. When he came down to Bangalore for work, he stayed with us. After having lunch, we began to chat.. him, Adwait and me. Adwait said, ''I am thinking of selling my Enfield. Probably, I can buy a bike which gives better average." Adwait's father and I just fell silent. We knew how Adwait loves biking and his Royal Enfield. He can spend hours to make that bike shine. I could almost feel his pain. Adwait continued,"I will waste less petrol, by doing so. We have no right to discuss about ever increasing prices if we keep wasting things." He is right. Absolutely right. Adwait's father said, "one day, after lunch I heard two workers chatting. One said, it is so costly to educate children these days! I have to pay Rs. 4,000 this month to my daughter's school. The other said, what? Is it so costly? How will you manage? The first one replied, we will try and pull as much as we can. Otherwise, one day, along with my daughter I will.... (commit suicide)." Oh dear lord! My mind was numb.. All these days, I heard of such thing only in news and in news papers about farmers in Maharashtra. However, Adwait's father knew these workers. They worked under him everyday.. I asked, "How much are they paid every month?" He said, "Not much. four to five thousand a month." I had no idea that majority of the working class earned so little. When I began my Ph.D, I was paid 12,000 and I hardly kept a track of how I spent. I felt so ashamed..Right now, dal costs close to Rs. 100/kg. How the hell was this worker going to eat? Largely, these people will then stop eating rice which is part of their staple diet. Or they will try and eat other pulses.. This whole thing is crazy.. The main occupation of our country is 'suppose' to be farming and we import the most basic ingredients of meal. We import fruits.. what not? It has been two years since I saw indian apples in shops.. Apples are now Rs. 180/kg in Bangalore. Who can afford that? We know all the figures.. these many people can not have two meals a day.. What do we do about it?? We blame the government and every other thing we can think of, but never ourselves.
It is time for action, people. Take a moment and think. Have you gone to marriages where they arrange a buffet? Do we look at the baskets where we keep used plates? There is so much food wasted.. thrown away..
And it is not only food.. time, money, resources, intelligence.. everything. Let us think and use. Let us use wisely. Let us not waste..
I used to give reason of running short of time. Then I really sat down and thought, can't I organize things in such a way that I will still have some time to make sure that I do not waste anything? Is it really so impossible? Obviously not! Now, it is not that I am managing it all.. but, I have started. Taken a step ahead. I ask you to think.. and find ways that you can use things in a better way and try not to waste. We can make it happen.

Peace

It has been some time since I blogged. In fact, it has been six whole months! In Dec. I got married and after that time flew by managing work and the rest of life. Today, I want to slow down a bit, after working the whole weekend. Breath deep. Not get involved in filthy things that tag along with professional life.

Yesterday, I did a very unusual thing. I wrote the most harsh mail to my Ph.D guide. Of course, there was a reason. And I felt free. As if, a huge burden was off my chest. My husband (Adwait) got his MS degree certificate and we decided to have chaat and stuff at this place which is a small shop. It felt so good to get in touch with a tension free, relaxed, simple life.. Happy. I felt free. I slept off with a smile on my face.

Other day, I was talking to one of my colleague. We are close. He is like a brother. I said, Adwait was asking me the other day, when will we get time to trek up Sahyadris and stand on one the peaks, facing lashing rain. To just stand there.. to wash off all unwanted masks that we put up, wash off all the anger, restlessness.. when? To feel the peace and content. My colleague smiled and said, I am married for last three years and have been away from home and wife for more than two years. And we will get Ph.D!! Wow! We both sighed.

I was going home in a bus. It began to rain. I thought, do I feel content? Have I found my 'drive'? Why do I remember standing under a tree planted in my grandfather's garden in this small village? And when I remember that, why does it suddenly feel peaceful? Many times, I feel that my husband and I just leave everything and move to a village. Leave Ph.D and go for farming? It is really unsettling to know that you hardly know anything about yourself, what you really want. And even more troubling is the fact that, whatever you say, you will be always a bit scared about uncertainty. The worst is, feeling of being lost.

It is easier, to gather yourself and collect these moments of content. To live in the present and nurture it. Give time to yourself.

Peace.