Monday, October 26, 2015

Constancy of life

Today I wake up. Feels like the day will productive. I get things done in time, drop my daughter to the day care and reach office in time. My calendar is full. I have allotted my time slots to address most of the issues my team members have. I also have managed to put a slot for some extra work that needs to be done.. so, overall, today is well planned and seems to be under control. Then, I get a phone call from my neighbor. She sounds serious. She tell me, 'Nandini, ummn.. that relative of mine passed away last night. I know you were taking efforts to find blood donors, so, thought will tell you right away.' I don't know how to react except for a loud 'What?!!'. We talk for five minutes about it, about this sudden demise of a young fellow of 30 who got married 2 years back and was diagnosed of blood cancer just a week back. She says, 'Now a days, we don't even know if  we will wake up tomorrow. Why do we try so hard and earn so much money? Everything is worthless..'

I still can't come out of the shock. The whole tone of the day changed suddenly for me. It seemed useless in a way that I was taking so much of effort planning a given day. What the hell !
Why we as average human beings, plan for our and our children's future? Why do we toil? Why do we die working and forget to live. Why all this when there is no constancy.. not even of our own lives. These and many such 'philosophical' questions cluttered my mind and as I took deep breath, I put a period. We do everything for a reason. For a cause.

Lives, put in simple terms follow one dimensional path of time at the minimum. There is a direction. We add other dimensions with our careers, goals, feelings and relationships. Even if we are alive, halting, thinking that running towards a goal is worthless as there is no constancy, will shatter us and life will be meaningless. We plan and plan, because we expect that we will be alive tomorrow and mostly, it will be true. There has to be a direction, a goal. However, for me what is challenging is to be happy about yourself in this whole exercise. To strike a balance, where at least you and the people around feel comfortable and happy when moving along the path that you etch.

Today, let me open my mind a bit more, let me be more kind and let me get some clarity (without any assumption of constancy of life). Breath deep.