Madman

While talking to one of my friend, I remembered the following piece written by Khalil Gibran

HOW I BECAME A MADMAN


You ask me how I became a madman.  It
happened thus:  One day, long before
many gods were born, I woke from a deep
sleep and found all my masks were stolen,
--the seven masks I have fashioned and
worn in seven lives,--I ran maskless
through the crowded streets shouting,
"Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves."

Men and women laughed at me and
some ran to their houses in fear of me.

And when I reached the market place, a
youth standing on a house-top cried, "He
is a madman."  I looked up to behold
him; the sun kissed my own naked face for
the first time.  For the first time the sun
kissed my own naked face and my soul was
inflamed with love for the sun, and I
wanted my masks no more.  And as if in a
trance I cried, "Blessed, blessed are the
thieves who stole my masks."

Thus I became a madman.

And I have found both freedom and
safety in my madness; the freedom of lone-
liness and the safety from being under-
stood, for those who understand us enslave
something in us.

But let me not be too proud of my
safety.  Even a Thief in a jail is safe
from another thief.

Decentralization?

Lately, it has dominated my thoughts. Especially, because I can actually hear the alarm. When I walk on the roads, when I am stuck in a traffic jam, when I am agitated because I get up in the morning and there is no water, I hear it, Loud and Clear. I grew up in Pune and now I am in Bangalore. Two cities, growing beyond imagination at a reckless speed. I guess Bangalore was the earlier victim and I see similar symptoms in Pune. I panic. I love that city. Is decentralization a solution? I wonder.

Some years back, I read an article in Hindu, I guess. The way US organized educational institutions, facilitated easy access to excellent education without the need of relocation. The farmers did not have to leave their farms to get good education. Education was brought to them. I am not saying US should be followed. But, what will happen if a farmer's son has to leave his village in Bihar and go to Patna or Kanpur or any other city? His father is either illiterate or has gone to school up to some level. He is not updated about better practices in farming as the son who had access to latest information, is not with him. His son goes to a city which is packed with people, running short of all resources, but there are well known schools a million IT parks and equivalent or more number of cars. Bigger the city, more the money, more the tension and lower the quality of life (of course, this is my view point).

Let me revisit the problem with different examples. There is a small city. Nice weather, ample water and relaxed lifestyle. The connectivity between cities is not that great and people on an average have similar lifestyles- majority being middle class (In this thought process, I am not thinking about the lower class for certain reasons). Then there is some improvement, after few years, the progress picks sudden pace and this little city is transformed. It is a metro! People pour in thousands of numbers. The original small city now can't accommodate so many people. Now, the are nearby villages, small hills are included in city as suburbs. There is a rush of builders to the newly developing areas- in new layouts, soon multistory buildings rise to sky. The water supply and waste water management is still not planned well, but there is no time. People need space to settle. People think, well, will adjust for a while. One day, there is no water. People call for the bore-well. The time passes by and one day, again, there is no water to the tap. People think, the previous bore-well was 750 ft. deep, should we go to 1000 or deeper? I face it. I stay in a suburb which supports more number of people than it can handle. People around are least bothered if water is wasted, if there are heaps of garbage around. I can see the deterioration of the unplanned suburbs. I pay rps 10,000/month to stay in a flat which is an a place that I absolutely dislike. And why do I do that? Because, it is close to my husband's and my workplace. We don't have other options. Can we track the trajectory?

Instead of flocking to Bangalore, if IT companies disperse to Belgaum and Aurangabad how would the picture change? Today, I see only old or very young people on the streets of even cities like Kochi and Aurangabad forget the villages (that's my observation again and not a statement). Where is the youth? Where is the earning class? The situation is some countries is so bad that 60% of the population comprises of aged or children. And when I know this, what am I doing? I am thinking. Not doing anything. I am waiting to finish my Ph.D because, I think then I can do something. After I get Ph.D, I will think after blah blah happens, then I can do something. Will this go on and the thoughts will just be incubated?

It might be difficult to to gauge the volume of what we will face one day. The process seems unstoppable and the aftereffects unimaginable. Can we see the problem? Can we identify the cause(s)? What should be done?

Mandar posted this on buzz http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/b5dfac22-4dd1-11df-b437-00144feab49a.html

Take a look.

Coulors of life

Source: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/03/holi_2010.html

I remember playing colours with my friends.. it is a pure form of joy! You laugh , you play.. shed the inhibitions.. for few hours, you are free.. free to be a child again

Lost and found.. or still lost?

Please note that my blogs do not follow any format.. I write as it comes my head..

I was reading Ashwin's post just now and that got me thinking.. Usually, my thought process is fast enough to make me forget the start point (or am horribly forgetful and my thought process erratic).. :p Any way, I remembered this conversation that I had with this person- about how Indians had already discovered that earth revolves around the Sun long before the heliocentric views surfaced in the modern world. He took out a fat book which had translations along with shlokas. He asked me to read this particular one, which in his view proved the point. I read it and I did not know what to say really.. My linguistic skills are terrible enough that I can not comprehend the original shloka written in Sanskit (I really feel ashamed). Thus, I read the translation. It was two pages long and vaguely conveyed his point. I did not know if the one who translated, superimposed his/ her views on the actual matter..

As I see it, the problem is at two levels- 1. hardly anyone today has a good hold on Sanskrit (am talking about mass. Adwait's Sanskrit is fantastic compared to mine). 2. As most of the literature available is not easily read in the original language, one tends to read the views of the person who translates it. For anyone who thinks logically, 2nd point strikes while reading translations. At least as far as I am concerned, I have to read the actual text it to believe that that is the matter author is trying to put forth. I can not believe just because someone told me that 'they' have found ancient Hindu texts sighting the inventions of the olden times and how they were advanced. Prove it.. show the original texts.. carry out carbon dating.. Many tend to receive my stance as 'she does not believe in our culture or something like that..' Now why will I do that? It is a simple thing that scientific proof is required. It does not take an Einstein to consider that one who knows Sanskrit can easily write what he/ she wishes. It is like, how do you know that it is not a fake Picasso?

All our texts are with Germans (how shameful is that!!) and on top of that, most of the people are educated in English who can poorly read their mother tongue.. leave apart Sanskrit. As most of the mass is of that kind (including me, though medium of my education was Marathi and I can read Marathi very well, I can't understand Sanskrit much) we are so ignorant about what was already known to ancestors.. I was reading this book on Greece and I was stunned to know that majority of the mass knows about how Greeks lived in the past, what they knew etc. It was so well preserved through the time. Now, Greece compared to India is a very small country with almost a single language of communication. I know that. We have too many languages and slowly we are losing on the knowledge of those as well..

We need to collaborate.. the people who know current science and people who have good hold on languages in which olden text was written. Western people are coming here to excavate and find how Aryan towns were planned.. why can't we do that? Rather, why don't we already know it? I really am thinking of learning Sanskrit all over again and keep it alive in my head. I don't want to read translations. Think about it. It is in our hand to preserve what's already known so that learn from our past and take it along.

:)

Action please..

After retirement, Adwait's father (my father-in-law) started to work in small factory in Aurangabad. When he came down to Bangalore for work, he stayed with us. After having lunch, we began to chat.. him, Adwait and me. Adwait said, ''I am thinking of selling my Enfield. Probably, I can buy a bike which gives better average." Adwait's father and I just fell silent. We knew how Adwait loves biking and his Royal Enfield. He can spend hours to make that bike shine. I could almost feel his pain. Adwait continued,"I will waste less petrol, by doing so. We have no right to discuss about ever increasing prices if we keep wasting things." He is right. Absolutely right. Adwait's father said, "one day, after lunch I heard two workers chatting. One said, it is so costly to educate children these days! I have to pay Rs. 4,000 this month to my daughter's school. The other said, what? Is it so costly? How will you manage? The first one replied, we will try and pull as much as we can. Otherwise, one day, along with my daughter I will.... (commit suicide)." Oh dear lord! My mind was numb.. All these days, I heard of such thing only in news and in news papers about farmers in Maharashtra. However, Adwait's father knew these workers. They worked under him everyday.. I asked, "How much are they paid every month?" He said, "Not much. four to five thousand a month." I had no idea that majority of the working class earned so little. When I began my Ph.D, I was paid 12,000 and I hardly kept a track of how I spent. I felt so ashamed..Right now, dal costs close to Rs. 100/kg. How the hell was this worker going to eat? Largely, these people will then stop eating rice which is part of their staple diet. Or they will try and eat other pulses.. This whole thing is crazy.. The main occupation of our country is 'suppose' to be farming and we import the most basic ingredients of meal. We import fruits.. what not? It has been two years since I saw indian apples in shops.. Apples are now Rs. 180/kg in Bangalore. Who can afford that? We know all the figures.. these many people can not have two meals a day.. What do we do about it?? We blame the government and every other thing we can think of, but never ourselves.
It is time for action, people. Take a moment and think. Have you gone to marriages where they arrange a buffet? Do we look at the baskets where we keep used plates? There is so much food wasted.. thrown away..
And it is not only food.. time, money, resources, intelligence.. everything. Let us think and use. Let us use wisely. Let us not waste..
I used to give reason of running short of time. Then I really sat down and thought, can't I organize things in such a way that I will still have some time to make sure that I do not waste anything? Is it really so impossible? Obviously not! Now, it is not that I am managing it all.. but, I have started. Taken a step ahead. I ask you to think.. and find ways that you can use things in a better way and try not to waste. We can make it happen.

Peace

It has been some time since I blogged. In fact, it has been six whole months! In Dec. I got married and after that time flew by managing work and the rest of life. Today, I want to slow down a bit, after working the whole weekend. Breath deep. Not get involved in filthy things that tag along with professional life.

Yesterday, I did a very unusual thing. I wrote the most harsh mail to my Ph.D guide. Of course, there was a reason. And I felt free. As if, a huge burden was off my chest. My husband (Adwait) got his MS degree certificate and we decided to have chaat and stuff at this place which is a small shop. It felt so good to get in touch with a tension free, relaxed, simple life.. Happy. I felt free. I slept off with a smile on my face.

Other day, I was talking to one of my colleague. We are close. He is like a brother. I said, Adwait was asking me the other day, when will we get time to trek up Sahyadris and stand on one the peaks, facing lashing rain. To just stand there.. to wash off all unwanted masks that we put up, wash off all the anger, restlessness.. when? To feel the peace and content. My colleague smiled and said, I am married for last three years and have been away from home and wife for more than two years. And we will get Ph.D!! Wow! We both sighed.

I was going home in a bus. It began to rain. I thought, do I feel content? Have I found my 'drive'? Why do I remember standing under a tree planted in my grandfather's garden in this small village? And when I remember that, why does it suddenly feel peaceful? Many times, I feel that my husband and I just leave everything and move to a village. Leave Ph.D and go for farming? It is really unsettling to know that you hardly know anything about yourself, what you really want. And even more troubling is the fact that, whatever you say, you will be always a bit scared about uncertainty. The worst is, feeling of being lost.

It is easier, to gather yourself and collect these moments of content. To live in the present and nurture it. Give time to yourself.

Peace.

We the book lovers..

Well, hello.. I guess you are also a book lover and LOOOOVE to read. The title of this blog is inspired from 'we the living' by Ayn Rand. It was one of her early books. I like her work.. a lot. This blog is dedicated to all those who love to read. I am a typical traditional reader.. who loves leather bound books containing pages of slight rough texture. The reason I thought of writing this lil piece is what Steve Jobs said when asked about Amazon Kindle (http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/15/the-passion-of-steve-jobs/). If it is true, it is sad. At least in India, the situation is not the same, I think. We love to read, largely. Some famous people wrote some good things about love for books (which I found on net!).. :)

All good and true book-lovers practice the pleasing and improving avocation of reading in bed....No book can be appreciated until it has been slept with and dreamed over. ~Eugene Field, Love Affairs of a Bibliomaniac (1896) (true, true..I love to read before I sleep)

To distract myself from tiresome thoughts, I have only to resort to books; they easily draw my mind to themselves and away from other things. ~Michel Montaigne

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library. ~Jorge Luis Borges

I am pretty sure you have visited sites like http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page and http://manybooks.net and if not, I suggest that you visit them. I personally don't like reading books on comp. However, I guess I should work on it. I heard from this nano tech scientist that they are developing a material on which you can download a book and it will not emit lighte like the comp screens do, but it will be like a book page on which light would fall and we can read :) I am really waiting for it. Yeah.. we are moving ahead with time..

Keep reading and dreaming.. :)

Cheers!

Nandini